I give up trying, done with my own game. Never in a million thoughts that I had, I saw this coming. I'm baffled with my actions. Things just happened. I thought of how I should plead you to come back into my life, but I guess I'm defeated. This bond we used to have is gone, now and forever. We used to talk about everything and now, we are like strangers who doesn't even greet each other or look each other in the eye. As much as you are full with anger and maybe a tad disappointment, I'm feeling even more worse. It was never easy for me. Have it ever crossed your mind that, this whole thing wasn't something I've planned and you really think all the words I've said after this few years are just a pool of lies? The worst thing is, you don't even trust me, you actually think what you see is right, you NEVER cared to find out or even giving me a chance to explain the whole thing. No, you did not take any of that into your consideration, all you did is that you think what you see is right, you spread it to everybody, everybody believes you while I solemnly kept my fingers crossed hoping, praying that nothing will bound to happen and everything is going to be alright but I was wrong. Totally wrong.
I do take my actions for granted.
I thought you had your trust in me but you just proved me wrong. I was naive. I thought I could mend broken hearts, wrong thoughts but the next day, everything changed. You refused to listen. I was just wearing a mask to cover that face underneath I had to hide. I told concerned ones I was alright, that I'm fine but no, I wasn't at all. How could I act like nothing happened when such a thing happened. Then I realized, behind those hazel eyes, I could see tears, sober, disappointment, all mixed up. It wasn't easy and the fact is, I can't let go of this yet, I'm not strong enough. I've been through this a few times and I matter this the most, none of the past ones have made me so down before.
It was going so strong and you had to break it. Now, you're not even close to us anymore, you've found your new friends. What happened to us 3? Everything that happened wasn't just bullshit is it? I cannot believe you could let go of it so fast, what are you?A man-made robot? Did you even trust, loved, cared about it? If you did, you would've just LISTEN and patch things up but nah, you're too strong and you have all those hatred in you. You can hate me how much you want to but, the memories are not going to change, somehow, you're going to glance back all the things we used to do and miss it. If you don't, then fine.
Even though this thing happened, I never once criticized, gossiped, back-stabbed about you but you? I could feel it from everything and everybody close to you. Every mean word you say, is all about me. I thank God as I prayed silently every night for giving me the strength to go through everything while I was having a bad time, I could say one of the worst moments in life. I swallowed all the words I see, I tried ignoring because I know it would just end up bringing me heartbreak. It didn't mattered even it wasn't you who said it, but when I saw what you said, I could just feel my heart being crushed. I don't care whatever they say about me, it doesn't affect me at all but what you say totally makes a difference.
Its about time to pack things up, leave this chapter and go to the next one but, can I?
the silence between us is killing me
say hello to goodbye?
This time I'm going to say it all out. Though I'm trembled with fear of the embarrassment I'm bound to face but who cares, its just time. Laugh however you want.
say hello to goodbye?
This time I'm going to say it all out. Though I'm trembled with fear of the embarrassment I'm bound to face but who cares, its just time. Laugh however you want.
